Vampires Suck

Ha ha ha, original title, right? Yeah, I know. But the fact is, the Twilight adaptation of movies is one of the worst things to happen to our country in recent times, not just because of my personal disliking of the series, but because of the effects it has on the youth (and some older fucktards too) of America. I mean, of course, nearly anyone can understand why I personsally wouldn't like Twilight. Sparkling vampires, shirtless dudes, Shark Boy, GAY. But the worst part is its followers. People, mainly teenage girls, now believe they are vampires, dressing in clothes from the film and wearing the teeth and following the rituals. This is not a summary of the South Park episode, I had these opinions long before I saw the parody. I hate hate HATE waiting on little girls that come into Subway! They're talking about how sexy Jacob is and that they're jealous of Bella, and I want to jump over the bar and beat them into the ground. But, the sight of blood would only excite them, cause you know, THEY'RE VAMPIRES. No, I don't care if you're Team Edward or Team Jacob, I'm sticking to Team Fuck-All-Of-You. Of course, the recent trend of vampire popularity has started a tidal wave of new media involving vampires, such as video games, movies and TV shows. I mean, most of the stuff isn't nearly as bad as Twilight, but I'm sick of the whole vampire idea. I don't get why people find them so interesting, they're supposed to be scary. 30 Days Of Night is the only thing in recent memory I can think of that gives vampires the traits and characteristics that they are supposed to have. And the series isn't ending anytime soon, They're releasing Breaking Dawn soon, I believe it's called? It'll have a midnight release, all the fat little goth chicks will turn to bats and fly to the movie theater, and then the next day have their ashamed mothers drive them to the mall and wait outside while they run into Hot Topic and buy all the latest merchandise. Then the shit ensues, they're out of Team Jacob shirts, there's crying, wrist-cutting, chemical warfare, mass genocide, suicide bombings, you know, the regular stuff that comes along with Twilight releases. So until then, I'll surely keep my cross handy.